This isn't happening because of you, one day it will be easier. Please push through because I know you can.
Keep going, no matter what you've been through (which is very valid). Put on your favourite song, blast it, and do whatever you need to do to keep your thoughts, emotions, and spirit safe.
Common questions:
Why do my parent's keep hurting eachother???!
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, AND...
If a parent has a a lot of stress, shame, and hard time taking care of their emotions, sometimes substances, like alcohol, can make it more difficult to make the right decisions on how to control their emotions. If they aso grew up around fighting, it can have become a normalized way of communicating their anger (this doesn't make it ok, though!!).
What can I do to help or stop it??!
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, AND...
If your parents are actively fighting and you are concerned about the health and safety of yourself or other family members, reach out to someone you trust immediately. This could be a family member, friend, or a crisis line such as 911. Click here to find phone numbers for crisis support. We understand the intense desire to intervene and stop the conflict, but it’s important to remember that if a parent is highly emotional or under the influence of substances like alcohol, it can be challenging and unsafe to try to calm them down or control their emotions. This can put you in a vulnerable position. Prioritize your safety and seek help from trusted individuals or authorities. If they are open to it, try speaking with your parent about your concerns when you and they are calm and not under the infuence of drugs. When you both are calm, it will be easier for your parent to hear what you have to say. Note: we are not crisis response.
If I call for help, will they take away my family?
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, AND...
if there is active violence and you call for help, in Canada, many professionals have to report parents they think are putting youth under the age of 18 in danger. If you are under the age of 18, and/ or you have young siblings and your parents are using substances, and they are arguing, hitting you, or hitting each other, there is a risk that you could be removed from your home to protect your emotional physical safety. Some people want this, but others might not, but don't leet this stop you from finding safety.
Creating an "exit plan"to help prepare you to stay safe.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, AND...
An exit plan is a plan you create when things are calm to prepare yourself for what you would do if you felt unsafe in your home. You create the plan when things are calm and before a crisis happens because stress can make remembering what we should do really hard. In the plan, you write out who you would call, who you could talk to, and where you would go if you had to leave your house because you were unsafe.
Here are some website we hope you find helpful.
